Teaching Children Self-Control

Helping your child develop self-control can be extremely beneficial to help them succeed in the classroom, and in building positive relationships in the future. Self-control is when children learn inhibition of strong impulses, such as screaming, hitting, or throwing things. Here are some tips help your child develop this skillset early on.

  • Identify Feelings. We have all seen those doctor’s office charts using faces to identify levels of pain. Using something similar that shows a range of happy to sad, or excited to angry, emotions can help your child identify what they are feeling and communicate that easier. Once they identify how they are feeling, you can do the same so that they can recognize how their words and actions can affect others as well.

 

  • Use words to express/ communicate how they feel. Once they are ready to have a problem-solving conversation, have them follow this guide to ensure it goes smoothly:
  1. Wait to calm down before I talk
  2. Understand why I feel angry
  3. Tell the other person “I am angry because…”
  4. Let the other person talk
  5. Say “I prefer next time that you….. instead.”

 

  • Show them ways to handle anger and frustration, if they feel out of control.

  How to calm down:

  1. Take deep breaths and count to 10
  2. Take a break by myself
  3. Write out my feelings on paper and then tear it up
  4. Do something physical like run, jumping jacks, or go for a walk

Show them this 4 step process of calming down before they approach a conversation. This helps them get their anger impulses out of their system and approach a conflict rationally.

With practice, your child can train their brain to have better self-control. Remember that parents are the best teachers. Being aware of how you handle stressful situations will show them the difference between a positive and negative response to conflict.  It’s important to note that some impulse control problems could be because of an underlying condition like ADHD, so it’s important to get your child assessed if they’re struggling to develop self-control. Following these few tips and keeping them a part of your daily routine will help aid in learning self-control.  

A Mother’s Guide to Getting More Rest

Finding the time to rest is ridiculously hard when you have children. You learn to savor those short-lived naps and a 4 hour sleep night sounds like a dream. As a mom, your children usually come first, however, when you neglect your self-care, it can affect other aspects of your life. Sleep deprivation can cause irritability, which makes it more difficult to be patient with a little one around. So what small steps can you take to make sure you’re well-rested?

Turn your screens off earlier than usual. We’re all guilty of staying up later than we planned, laying in bed endlessly scrolling through social media, and for a lot of us, that’s the only time that we have to be social. Turn your TV and phone off and wind down by reading with your child. This will help them get into a nighttime routine that signifies that “it’s time for bed.” Try looking through social media in the morning instead. The light of a bright screen will help wake you up as well.

Take your loved ones up on their offers to help out. As a new mother, there is so much anxiety associated with being away from your baby, but those moments away can help tremendously with your own mental health. Giving others control can be very stressful, but it’ll help socialize them with. Perhaps they can suggest something that worked for their child in the past that can help you further develop your parenting style.

For new mothers that are comfortable with this parenting style, sharing a bed with your baby can be helpful as well. Co-sleeping makes nightly feeding so much easier if you’re breastfeeding every 3-4 hours. Your child has less time to be agitated and hungry, alone in a separate room. When you have a quick approach to solving the problem, it helps lull your baby back to sleep faster.

Sleep When They Sleep. I’m sure that you’ve heard that phrase so many times, but sometimes daily naps can really help rejuvenate your body. Take the opportunities when your little one dozes off to wind down yourself. If you’re not the type that can easily nap in the middle of the day, take those moments as an opportunity to relax. Have a cup of coffee, listen to music, or sit outside and enjoy nature for a moment. If you prefer to catch up on chores, you can use those moments of peace to make your life a little easier in the future.

Putting time aside for yourself is very important, and following these steps can help get you there. Remember to take little breaks from your full-time mommy job to collect yourself. It will reflect positively in so many other aspects of your life.